On My Nose

I have long hated my nose.  As a result, I have long obsessed over side profiles.  I have long obsessed over the way my nose looks in pictures.  I always try to have the camera above me and have my nose be down lens.  My dad would tell me I should appreciate my nose because it gives me character.  My mom would insist it could be worse and I should see the noses that run in her extended family, oft citing the "Munyak Curse."

So I hated my nose.  I begged for a nose job.  Like most of the girls at my school.  My mom would say maybe when I turn 18.  That plastic surgery isn't good for girls under 18, they are still growing.

18 came and went and I was too busy for a nose job.

Then this year, the opportunity presented itself.  I had to get surgery to fix my deviated septum.  I could opt to combine it with a rhinoplasty, two birds- one stone.

My boyfriend was unconvinced.  He told me something about conforming to western ideals of beauty.  Blonde, ski-slope nose.  Besides, he loved my face.  And some other things.  I think the summary was getting a nose job wasn't going to make me happy, I was going to continue to find things to be dissatisfied with because I have other problems.

He was right in that sense.  Even if I did have the perfect nose, (it wasn't going to be a ski slope, that was for sure) I was going to find something else.

So I thought about it.  And I got scared.  What if I didn't look quite like me anymore?  Was I just trying to conform to some idea of beauty?  I had already gone back to brunette- I don't think I was fooling anyone into thinking I was some WASP from New England, even if I got my nose did.

So when it came time for my consultation, I opted out of the rhinoplasty.  I was going to fix my septum so I could breathe again and that was going to be it.  I was going to learn to accept it as my nose, and honestly it wasn't that bad of a nose.

Sometimes I see friends who did get a rhinoplasty, and think that they look amazing, and I feel a little jealous that I chose to retain my face the way it was given to me.

But I like to think that in profile, I look a bit like Audrey Hepburn.  She also had a little bump in her nose.

Think Positive, people.